As a supervisor, sometimes I need to handle my colleagues' emotional issues, so I enrolled in a course on psychological support. However, after learning what psychological support entails, I found it really challenging. The difficulty lies in the fact that I can only offer support without giving personal opinions. Psychological support isn’t about solving problems because helping once won’t necessarily help again; ultimately, individuals have to solve their own problems. Therefore, the goal of psychological support is to empower the person being supported to face their problems on their own.

Emotions Are Useful, But Don't Rely on Them for Decision-Making

It’s estimated that 15% to 25% of the population suffers from mental disorders, with severe cases ranging from 1% to 3%. With a population of about 7.3 million in Hong Kong, this translates to roughly 1.1 million to 1.8 million people with mental disorders, of which about 70,000 to 220,000 suffer from severe mental illnesses. Given Hong Kong's stressful environment, the actual numbers might be higher.

People with mental disorders often first experience emotional distress. We should not demonize emotions because they are actually very useful. Emotions are our intuitive feelings and can help us make quick decisions, like avoiding dangerous situations because of fear, which is a mechanism to protect ourselves. However, this mechanism is not suitable for making complex decisions. The real world is multifaceted and interconnected, and if we let our emotions drive our decisions, it might not be the optimal choice and can hinder achieving the desired outcome.

For example, worrying about the future is a common emotion that helps us plan ahead to increase our survival chances. However, if we let worry escalate unchecked, it can lead to anxiety disorder, where one constantly feels anxious about every aspect of life, which is counterproductive.

"I Am Just Like This" is Just an Excuse

Everyone has emotions, but some people like to let their emotions define them, using statements like "I am just like this" to excuse their uncontrollable emotions. This is actually a defense mechanism against a rapidly changing world, stemming from a fear of not being able to adapt, so they use self-justification.

However, we change after every experience, and no one remains the same. Therefore, the so-called "I" also changes over time. If you could meet yourself from ten years ago, you might find your past self-immature. Since the "I" is not fixed, you can change from "just like this" now to being different in the future. Change only requires a shift in mindset.

Only Personal Growth Can Heal You, Not Others

The key to self-healing is that the person in pain must change. When dissatisfied with work, you have three options: grow, escape, or do nothing. Those who choose the third option often think they have no choice and blame others for their suffering, which does nothing to alleviate their pain. Escaping isn't necessarily a failure; some situations are beyond our control, and if it seems unlikely to solve the issue, leaving is a valid option.

We cannot rely on others to heal ourselves; others can only provide psychological support. Depending on others for healing is just shifting responsibility, which does not help solve the problem. Emotional issues are a personal knot that only the individual can untie. When necessary, seek professional help. If you're emotionally distressed, it means your current coping strategies are no longer effective. Courageously acknowledge your issues and learn new knowledge and methods instead of standing still.

In today’s society, people without emotional problems are the exception. Viewing emotional issues as weakness is like comparing minor flaws. Properly addressing emotions is a lesson everyone needs to learn. Although schools don’t teach this, the world is vast—don’t trap yourself in a well.

Simon So

Chief Experience Officer of Hantec Group